Hey, good to see you again. Sit back, kick your shoes off and enjoy the story.

Fall was coming, I could feel it in the air.

It was evening and I was in my car, headed home from my last appointment. It was already dusk and the night was slowly settling over the country side, obscuring the fields and gardens under long stretched shadows which were reaching down from the mountains, enveloping everything in their somber mood. It had been an overcast, grey sort of a day; the kind we had been having on and off all summer, and now, so late in the season, it had brought low, wispy clouds with it, which were hanging down from the sky, straining to join the mist which had begun to hover over the fields.

As I continued to drive, I noticed that the mist and the clouds were beginning to thicken and mix with the coming darkness, making it difficult to discern the houses along the street. Every once in a while I could still catch warm light coming from the odd kitchen widow where the curtains had not yet been drawn tight against the advancing night, but the rest was muted behind the haze of the grey gossamer evening.

Suddenly, and with virtually no warning, I found myself and my car alone in a thick ashen world. The gauzy haze had become as dense as cotton and I had the impression that there was no more left, no more right, no more up and no more down. There was only grey. I slowed to a crawl, shoved my glasses up a bit higher on my nose and sat a little straighter; I could hardly see 3 meters in front of me. I stubbornly trained my eyes on the white line on the right side of the road and cautiously continued driving.

I hoped that the drivers behind me had also slowed down as much as I had. I checked my rear lighting again and figured that if nothing else, the drivers behind me might at least see my fog light before plowing blindly into my car.

Small comfort in my slow, grey padded world.

I squinted through my windshield and resisted the temptation to try my high beams, which I usually use if I want to see farther. But in this situation, I knew that an immediate wall of bright fog would appear in front of me and the little I could now see of the street and the lines would be gone in a moment. So I continued my drive, my valiant headlights weakly illuminating my way.

‘What if the drivers ahead are even slower than me?’, I wondered, a thought which wasn’t destined to make me feel more confident about the situation. I considered for a moment, ‘If I slow down in case the drivers ahead of me are slower, then I risk being too slow for the drivers behind me. And if I drive quick enough to avoid the danger of being rear-ended, then I could easily hit an overly-cautious driver ahead of me’.

I sat again a bit straighter and turned the radio off so I could concentrate.

‘This is dreadful! I can’t see a thing,’ I took a deep breath and consciously loosened my shoulders. ‘I could stop and wait for the fog to clear’, I reasoned, ‘but I’d have to pull over and I can’t see far enough to do that’. I was starting to get nervous. I didn’t have much experience driving in fog, despite the fact that I had lived here for years. I really didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what was best. Should I drive slower? Should I drive faster? Or should I stop? I wasn’t sure how to get through this.

Then, in the claustrophobic greyness of my little world, it occurred to me that the unknowns of this situation, the confusion, the fear, the stuckness and the not knowing how to get through it is like many possible situations in life; in my life or in anybody else’s. Being trapped in a relationship, in a job or in a difficult decision; being lonely, worried or stressed is a bit like being alone in the fog. It can easily encase and overwhelm us. And at those times we, too, are likely to feel scared and panicky and start saying to ourselves, “This is dreadful. I don’t know what to do. I have to get out of here!” And this panic and self-talk can lead us to suddenly change our plans in a way which can make the situation worse – like slowing down, accelerating or pulling over.  

But if we just continue using our valiant headlights and driving line for line, we will reach the end of the fog and our vision will clear and we will be able to continue on to our destination.

I took another deep breath, held my speed and trained my eyes on the white line on the right side of the road and drove slowly towards the end of the fog, towards home and the warm light in the kitchen window.

Happy driving,
Lisa

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