Of Hands and Marbles
Hey, good to see you again. Sit back, kick your shoes off and enjoy the story.
isaac bowen
I was visiting a friend the other day to do some catching up. Sylvia and I hadn’t seen each other in quite a while, so I was looking forward to seeing her again and hearing about happenings. I was also looking forward to seeing her little boy, Andreas. He had turned 3 since the last time I had seen him (my how time flies) and I was wondering what he looked like – children change so quickly at that age, that if you don’t see them regularly, you completely lose track of who they are.
It was a lovely afternoon, filled with the kind of sunshine that only a winter day can bring. It streamed in the windows and danced on the walls, bathing the kitchen in light. I could feel it warming my back as I sipped my tea. She had baked my favorite cookies and I had already eaten 3 of them before we could even begin to talk. It was going to be a delicious afternoon.
We sat at the kitchen table and chatted while Andreas played on the floor. He was surrounded by Lego bricks, Duplo people and assorted stuffed animals. Naturally, however, he didn’t find any of these toys very interesting. He was far more inclined to dig through a few forbidden drawers and cabinets in the kitchen, getting his hands on Tupperware boxes, pot holders and other various items he otherwise never got to investigate. But he seemed to know that his mother and I were so happy to finally get the chance to talk to each other that he could have a heyday in the kitchen.
So we talked and he methodically worked his way through a large, deep drawer, tossing things to the side as he went.
Suddenly, Andreas began to cry, pulling frantically at a narrow plastic container stuck on his hand. He had put his hand into it, and now he couldn’t get it out anymore.
Sylvia and I both tried from all sides and angles to remove his hand from the container, but it was no use. He was stuck tight. How do you extract the hand of a small child from something it probably shouldn’t have been in in the first place?
We considered trying oil, or soap and water – anything to make him slick. But on an off chance, we decided to first ask Andreas to open his hand and stretch his fingers out as far as he could. I showed him what we meant with my own hand. This, we reasoned, would make his hand as long and narrow as possible, and maybe then we would be able to slide the container off.
‘Oh, no’, he said. ‘I can’t do that. If I opened my hand, I would drop the glass marble I found.’
Crazy little kid! Of course he couldn’t get his hand out of the container if he wouldn’t let go of the marble. Letting go was the only way out of his tricky situation. Seems kind of obvious, doesn’t it, now that we are no longer 3 and aren’t clutching onto a worthless glass marble. But how many things are we holding on to that are preventing us from being free?
Letting go can be hard, can’t it?
Sometimes we all find ourselves in situations that are frightening, painful, or just simply going nowhere and the only way out is to let go of something we’re holding on to. Old belief systems, past hurts or worthless glass marbles can keep you stuck in a situation and prevent you from being free. Opening your mind, your heart or your hand can change everything in the blink of an eye and give you the chance to break free and move on.
Happy letting go,
Lisa
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This is so true. We hold on to so much more than we know. As in your example, it’s always easy to see what the others need to let go of, but it’s so difficult to see what’s going on in us and in our lives.
There is lots I need to let go of, of this I am sure. Sometimes though it’s really hard to see what it is. I simply feel that something is blocking me, keeping me from doing or getting something that I want.
I’m going to think a bit more about that now.
Thanks for writing this. It really did come at a good time for me. Now really is the time I need to let go of some things.
thanks again.
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Lisa Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 17:39
Hi Daniel,
It is true, isn’t it? I too think that we hold on to much more than we are aware of – I know I did (and still do). I suppose that finding these little ‘marbles’ and letting them go one by one is part of development. And yes, it definitely is often hard to recognize what it is that we need to let go of – it’s hard to find what it is that is holding us back. Often times professional coaching can help (hint hint :-)), often time too, one can find a quiet corner and go into oneself and find some of those ‘marbles’. And often when you start looking, a whole bunch of marbles will start rolling towards you.
It was a very good metaphor for me, because Andreas so obviously was being held back by his desire not to let go. It made me realize that we all have marbles in our hands and it would do us all good to let go.
Thanks for commenting.
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Lovely story and so very true! We all have much to let go of. It’s so easy to see it in the story, but in real life it can be so hard. I’m like Daniel, I don’t know all I have to let go of, but I also know that it is there. I suppose it’s my belief systems – like I can’t do something, or I’m not good enough … and things like that. I’m sure these are the things that hold be back. It’s not that easy to let go. I think one day that I have done it and the next day I am back at the old thoughts.
It can be so frustrating!
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Lisa Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 17:45
Hi Margit,
Yes, I agree. Just as I mentioned to Daniel, I too find it is often difficult to identify what it is that is in the way of us moving on with life. And yes, I have to agree again, it often is our belief systems. We can find those belief systems often in the way we communicate – alone by the words we use. As you mentioned, saying ‘I can’t do that’, or ‘I’m not good enough’ should give you lots of food for thought. These sort of statements grow from underlying belief systems that make it hard – if not impossible – to move on and become all that we were created to be (whatever that might be).
And even when you have found the ‘marble’ it is difficult to change in one moment. We often need time to make the new thought process, or belief system a habit – we probably needed years to learn the old one! Often times we will fall back into the old habit. But instead of getting upset with yourself, it’s far more productive to think ‘oops’ and move on again to the ‘new’ behavior or thought, without getting angry or frustrated. Change often takes time! It’s a wonderful journey and during the change process you can really learn a lot about yourself.
Good luck!
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Lisa,
What a wonderful way of sharing your afternoon with us. I feel like we were in the kitchen with you. The little ones are here to teach us. Thank you for sharing and for reminding us to let go.
Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s last blog ..Sins of the Past – What Do Yours Say About You?
[Reply]
Lisa Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 17:48
Hi Cheryl,
Thanks. I agree, we can often learn a whole lot from little kids. They are so unbelievably authentic and live so much in the moment that they often give us glimpses into what life could be like for us. Little Andreas was as upset about having the container stuck on his hand as we should often be about things that constrict us. But we often accept them as a part of life and learn to live with the ‘container on our hand’. But he yelled, we responded and together we could identify the problem. How easy it can be!
I hope we all can free our hands from containers!
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Now that was a great story and a great analogy.
Holding on to the marble and getting ourselves stuck. Brilliant.
AND he needed someone else to point out why he was stuck and that is so the case with me as well.
As the marble, we hold on to so many invisible things and it is interesting how much practice it takes to bring the invisible to light for oneself and for others.
Love Wilma
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Ann-Marie on The Third Person in our Relationships
[Reply]
Lisa Reply:
January 23rd, 2010 at 18:49
Hi Wilma,
Yes, exactly. We really do hold on to many invisible things (when your hand is closed so tightly around it, you can’t see it very well). And I also think it’s often (usually) easier if somebody helps us to see what it is that we have our hands (and our hearts) clutched around. It does take practice to bring it to light and to learn to let go. It amazes me time and time again as I find so much that I’ve been clinging on to for years. And as I let go, I feel such a feeling of freedom and release – it’s amazing and so unbelievable enlightening. And then I think, ‘Wow. That was simple.’ Because it really is so simple. But it’s not always easy.
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Perfect metaphor. It struck me that what he didn’t want to let go of was something he believed to be treasure. Who in their right mind wants to let go of treasure, even if it means being rescued? It’s making me wonder about the things I’m holding onto that are keeping me stuck, but it’s also making me wonder what is the thing that I value, that I want so much, that is keeping me stuck. What treasure do I need to let go of, because it isn’t right for me?
Beautiful story.
Jane´s last blog ..It Could Be Worse…
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Lisa Reply:
January 23rd, 2010 at 18:52
Hi Jane,
Yes, it was his treasure. And the whole time it was a worthless glass marble (worthless to us, that is). And the best part of it is, that by letting go of the marble he could release his hand from the container – and have the marble too. It wasn’t gone, it just wasn’t clutched in his hand any longer.
Think about that for a while.
Let go, and perhaps it will still be yours – just no longer sweaty, hot and clutched in your hand.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 5:15
Very VERY good point. I forget these things. ;) You mean if I let it go I might get to have it, but UNSTUCK and free? Thanks for the reminder. I need them!
Jane´s last blog ..Jane’s Boots Speak
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Lisa Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 6:46
Yes, Jane. I think that’s the most exciting part. You are then free. As Janis Joplin so beautifully sang, “Freedom is another word for nothing left to lose…”. Everybody interprets that to mean “…having nothing”, but perhaps she meant “….having much, but hanging on to nothing”.
:-)
Hmmm….I like what you added in your last comment…”perhaps it will still be yours – just no longer sweaty, hot and clutched in your hand.” That is something I know I need to remember. Have a little faith that when you let go, you don’t lose it all. Love the story!
Michelle´s last blog ..Thankful Thursday – The Fun Doesn’t Stop
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Lisa Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 6:44
Yes, exactly. This, I believe is one of the key points. Letting go doesn’t necessarliy mean not having. It only means letting go and not holding on to. This is freedom. Many of the things you treasure will, if stop worrying, holding on, sweating, and all those things, remain yours – if they really were yours in the first place. If not, then you know where you need to develop. And losing now also doesn’t mean never having. It only has to do with now. It’s a very liberating concept.
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