At the Window
Hey, good to see you again. Sit back, kick your shoes off and enjoy the story.
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon in late September and I was lounging on the porch drinking a cup of tea and soaking up the last rays of autumn sun. It was a particularly warm afternoon and I had opened most of the windows to let the cool breezes in. The light curtains swayed faintly with the movements of the air and the sounds of the neighbor’s children and my wind chimes faded in and out. In the background, I could hear a few flies buzzing around the potted plants, enjoying their last fleeting days of life before the night frosts came and ended their summer’s existence.
I laid on the bench next to the table and cradled a barely begun novel in my lap. I had tried several times to read, but kept losing my place and getting distracted. After have read one sentence three times and still not knowing what it was about, I gave up. My mind was in no mood for literary concentration and wanted instead to wander over the events of the week. Seeing as I was feeling just as lazy as the afternoon, I didn’t press the point and let my thoughts have their way and roam where they wanted.
I sipped my tea and felt a breeze catch in the curtain and was reminded of a friend of mine who had stopped by on Wednesday, looking for a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. We had sat here at the same table, sipping the same mint tea, and had talked about life.
Michael is a very goal oriented person who is self employed as a trainer for amateur athletes. Over the years, he has built up a successful business with a solid group of steady clients and although he has never gotten rich, he has always been able to carve out a living, each year being a little bit better than the year before. Nothing great, but he has always managed to grow and move a bit ahead.
In the past year or so, however, he had began evaluating his life and his level of success. He had come to the conclusion that something, although he wasn’t sure what, was blocking him from reaching his higher goals and becoming really successful in his area. Something was, as it were, holding him back. He was getting frustrated and wondered why it was that he could see his goals so clearly, but still didn’t seem able to reach them.
‘I should have gotten a real job in a real company like my parents wanted. It’s ridiculous expecting to really get ahead doing what essentially should be my hobby’, he stated with finality. ‘I don’t know if it’s possible for me to really make it at this.’
Michael seemed to be standing on the threshold of his goals, focusing hard on getting there, but not really believing he could do it. Each time he tried to take the next step and cross that threshold, he became blocked and unable to move on. His frustration was getting to him and was making it difficult for him to be positive. He found himself questioning his abilities and his potential to become successful in his field.
I nipped again at my tea and let the sounds of my porch re-enter my consciousness. The neighbor’s children were still playing and the wind chimes tinkled faintly from the eaves. I snuggled down a bit farther into the cushions on the bench and watched the curtains move. From the corner of the porch I could hear the persistent and impatient noise of a fly buzzing intensely around the one still closed window. He buzzed in irritation, continually whacking his little body against the glass in an attempt to get out. He evidently had already investigated all the plants on the porch sufficiently and now wanted out to find better pickings elsewhere. He could see the grass and the trees outside, but wasn’t able to get to them. The invisible pane of glass was blocking his way, effectively locking him in the porch.
I watched him struggle for a while (with some satisfaction, I must admit) and then stood and opened the window. It took him a moment to gather his strength and then he threw his body once again in the direction of the window and instead of hitting the glass, he found himself catapulted out into the freedom and warm air of the garden. In a flash he was gone, off to explore the world and buzz around somebody else’s porch.
I stood and looked at the window. It suddenly occurred to me that just like the fly, sometimes we too have closed windows blocking our way to our goals. We can see where we want to go, but we just can’t seem to get there. An invisible barrier keeps us from moving forward and frustrates our attempts to move on.
Self-doubt, like with Michael, can create a barrier that, although hard to recognize, will stop us in flight. Sure, as with any barrier made of glass, perhaps we can see where we want to go, but if we don’t truly believe that we are able to get there, we will find ourselves stopped by that invisible force as soon as we try to cross the threshold into success. If we don’t believe in ourselves, then self-doubt will stand squarely in our way and will not let us out, no matter how loud we buzz and how often we throw ourselves against it.
And instead of buzzing in irritation and mindlessly throwing ourselves against the barrier until we are too tired and frustrated to go on, we can learn to recognize and overcome our limiting beliefs, like my friend’s self-doubt, and open the window to success and fly out into the warm air of the garden.
Happy flying
Lisa
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Hi Lisa. I am so glad you left a comment on my blog so that I could find your site. Isn’t it funny how the answers find us when we are not thinking we are searching? Being someone trying to make a living from my hobbies (horses), I know too well that the window blocking my further progress is self doubt. We can’t help it. Perhaps for all of us who don’t, as your friend put it, live the safe and stable life our parents expected of us. So, thank you for finding a good anaolgy we can all relate to. And now, I wonder for you and all of us going through, now what do we do open up that window and fly free?
gg
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As soon as we have overcome our limiting belief systems, then we have effectively opened the window to our goals and are free to reach them. I think our belief systems are generally the things that are blocking us most and often these limiting beliefs are fear, self doubt, guilt – the things that come, perhaps, with not living the life our parents wanted us to live. We don’t have to share the belief systems of our parents – we can let go of those limiting thoughts and open the window and sail right on through.
It seems to me that you have already taken big steps in this direction. More power to you.
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Great story at a great time. I feel like I’m standing at that window. I can see where I want to go, but I can’t seem to get there. This has really opened my eyes and given me some ideas on how to open that window. thanks!
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Hi Daniel, glad the story helped. It’s interesting, just as Gin mentioned above, sometimes the right thing comes at the right time. Sometimes you get the answer to the question before you have even asked it.
That’s how it is with me, at any rate. I find that sometimes when I’m struggling to move forward or am feeling stuck, then the thing that helps push me on and which shows me the way is often completely unexpected and comes from a place I never would have thought of looking (had I even been looking). And then suddenly things begin to be clear and then I know which way to go again.
Life is like that, I guess. Full of surprises.
A bit off the topic of barriers, but more onto what you and Gin are getting at, I was thinking of a quote from John Lennon today. I think it goes something like this: Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.
Isn’t that true?
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After having spent a very special afternoon with you last week, watching the curtains blowing in the breeze and listening to the flys buzing around the plants, I feel very touched and moved by this story-it could be mine. Thank you.
Your sister,
Greta
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:-)
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It’s like you’re in my mind, tossing out these gems just as I need them and am ready to receive them. This is right on the money – it’s amazing how sometimes you just keep on banging at that window, even when it clearly isn’t working to get you what you need. Sometimes we all just need a little reminder to step back and open the window.
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Isn’t it strange?
I’ve just been discussing with a friend that even if we do reach the point where we recognize the window, or the barrier, it’s sometimes difficult to realize that we ourselves have the ability to open the window, or remove the barrier. We, unlike the fly, don’t need somebody to open it for us (divine intervention, I believe I called it). We can actually do it ourselves.
It’s difficult sometimes to take full responsibility for ourselves (our lives, abilities, successes). But in realizing that we create our own barriers, we give ourselves control. If we ‘closed’ the window, then we can ‘open’ it too.
It’s a powerful realization.
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Hi Lisa – thank you for commenting on my blog. I enjoyed reading this post, especially the prose. I love the picture of doubt as a window, a pane of glass that, although you can see right through it, you cannot easily pass. Doubt is one of those “d” words that can stop us in our tracks – words like discouragement and disillusionment. People who choose to do business on their own terms need to replace doubt with positive thinking and realize that doing so is a “do” thing, not a passive thing. Keeping your mind in a positive frame will help your intuition and creative thinking recognize opportunities which then can open that window. I, too, love sitting with a cup of tea…today it’s my mix of organic peach with mountain green tea while I sit with my parrot, George, on my lap.
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Hi Linda (and George)! You’re right, the ‘d’ words slow our development. The challenge is, of course, first recognizing them and then being active to keep replacing them with a positive frame of mind. I agree, this positive frame of mind forms the basis of intuition and new ideas. Good ideas rarely grow out an environment of doubt, discouragement and disillusionment.
Enjoy your tea (I’ll have to try that blend) and thanks for your thoughts.
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It is really sad to look out at the window thinking,looking and searching for the ones we love… and also thinking about our dreams.. but it is also nice to see that there is light after the darkness and that is what keeping the windows open.. it leads us there…
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The world outside of the window is our world. We are there where our dreams and our loved are. The window that keeps us from realizing this is our window. We are perhaps standing at that window, ready to open it up and to go out and join all which is out there. It is only sad when you do not realize that it is a window we can open.
The realization that we create our own barriers sets us free. There is always light after darkness.
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